Sick September

Well this month my two children have been sick for - I would say - the entire month and then some. It started as a common cold which turned into a middle ear infection. A three hour wait in the doctor surgery with a girl sitting next to me about to vomit and two very bored and irritable kids. The week after they got better, my eldest, Charlize, vomits for 24 hours followed by a runny nose and cough. My three year old, Noah, is now getting the green slugs creeping from his nostrils. The result = a lack of social interaction with other mums and the tending and nursing of whinging, clinging kids. I'm still suffering from morning sickness and severe tiredness (as is common in my pregnancies) along with my  ailing children. With barely any social interaction  I start to get really cranky and irritable. Fun and games!
The house obviously goes to the pits. The laundry is the size of Mt Kosciusko and the folding is Mt Everest. There are dirty dishes a pile high and I am really wishing they'd hurry up and repair the dishwasher (yes, I rent). I have no interest in cooking tea and what I would really like to do is curl up in bed, read a good book (if I'm not too tired) and sleep - definitely sleep. But hey, at least I have good support once he's home from work. He comes in with his sleeves rolled up, ready to go. THE biggest blessing in my life - my husband. Did I always see him in that light - no - but I guess that was the beauty that resulted in the dark years of standing by a postnatally depressed woman.
We plan a weekend away at a spa resort for my 30th birthday. The kids seem to get worse leading up to it but we hold to the hope. Unfortunately, our babysitter pulls out and then my husband, Andrew gets what the kids have. We cancel the trip away and I am devastated... it was the ONE good thing that helped me get through the endless hours of coughing, sniffing, vomiting and crying. He's down and out and I haven't been right for months due to the pregnancy so we're all feeling a little down. It's times like these we wished we had family close by.
As you can see, I am worried that it may trigger another depressive episode. Stress, lack of support, loneliness and  bad health can lead me back down that path quite easily. But I can recognise it now and I step back, trying to figure out how I can turn it around, make it a positive. It's not always easy and when you still have your wits you can think logically about these things but once the grip of depression takes hold, it's hard to make sense of anything, especially yourself. So to be safe, so that I don't lose my head and almost my marriage and family all over again, I talk to the midwives and decide to talk to my obstetrician about getting a referral to a psychologist, just to keep an eye on me. Initially I went through the public system and received counselling and group therapy which helped  pull me through but I have a feeling I will get better care this time around and I am wiser for it. One thing is I am not certain of myself and my ability to cope but I am certain I have the will to fight for my right to be happy and enjoy my family and I am also certain I have a man who will stand by me.